I’ve awoken, cold and shivering on the floor of my cave in a pool of leaves, vomit and mouse parts. I cannot remember the last week AT ALL. The only clues I have are half of a Halloween costume and excerpts from a Forbidden Planet column I have NO memory of writing.
The Costume is some sort of weird pudding bowl hair cut, cowboy boots, and a nail gun…but remember, I only have half of it. What kind of stupid costume is that? What was I supposed to be?
And this column I’ve found. Here’s an excerpt:
“To ward off the Llamas, I’m gonna’ git me a copy of Avenging Spider-Man #1 and a copy of Marvel Point One #1 and I’m gonna’ plop em’ both inna’ cage and I’m a gonna’ make em’ FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT! There can be only ONE #1!!! Oh no, the llamas!!”
LLAMA RAMMA DING DONG
That last part actually makes sense (to me, at least,) but why on Earth did I want to put Avenging Spider-Man #1 and Point One #1 in a cage and potentially ruin their collectible value? Avenging Spider-Man #1 looks awesome!
Let’s put Ultimates 3 behind us and take a look at that gorgeous Joe Madureira cover. Man, if I could only judge this book by that cover I’d say it’s going to be more Spectacular than Spectacular, more Sensational than Sensational. This book looks too dang good to pass up giving it a try…plus it’s a number 1 and that’s for me.
Point One #1 is a tougher pick up, but still pretty reasonable. Six or seven stories from top writers and artists setting up Marvel’s big event of 2012…which better be pretty dang big, as DC is mopping the floor with the “House of Ideas” in sales of late. Time to pull the bacon out of the frying pan, Stan.
AH! The Halloween costume! I get it now…I was Half-ier Bardem. Clever. But why was I eating mice?
MICE CREAM
DC has #3’s to deal out for both the Demon Knights and Frankenstein…real shame they couldn’t ship last week when it was All Hallow’s Eve, but I’ll take crazy DC monster books any way I can get em’!
THEN IDW has the third printing of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #2 ongoing, as well as the #2 for their Star Trek/Legion of Superheroes mash-up!
I’m looking at this old Column I’ve written and it doesn’t mention these awesome books at all. Instead it mentions something about “F’thwangle rrarth, Yogsoth glarblingle nar-varkla.”
-Ladies and gentlemen, by reading that last sentence out loud I’ve just summoned up a very frightening demon! He is horrible. For journalistic reasons I feel I must try to get an interview with him.
UNKIEDEV: Hello, Mr. Demon. What brings you to my cave?
DEMON: This is MY Cave.
UNKIEDEV: OH! That explains it. For a second there I thought I ate some mice.
DEMON: This is my cave, but those aren’t my half eaten mice. Are you sure you’re alright?
UNKIEDEV: Sigh.
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More musings from Unkiedev, Earth’s own sidekick, can be read at unkiedev.blogspot.com