Things in my cave are GREAT, thanks! I’ve taken care of that horrible bear, found a few new non-poisonous mushrooms and even got a girlfriend …although she might just be a hallucination, a side-effect from one of the mushrooms. Girls are translucent, aren’t they?
It all makes me think back on the crazy days of yore, when each of my columns would start with me chased by possums or set aflame by spiteful wood elves. Ha. Good times.
COMICS
A must buy this week is Dark Horse’s collection of short stories, De: Tales by brothers Gabriel Ba’ and Fabio Moon. 112 pages of the two brightest new talents in comics going bananas with creativity. You loved them on Umbrella Academy and B.P.R.D., now see the good stuff they’ve been keeping for themselves. Speaking of these super-stars, they’re over at Marvel now with partner Matt Fraction on their CRAZY book Casanova, relaunching this week with a new #1!
Hmmm. My cave seems to be filling up with some water. I wonder if the toilet’s backed up. NO, that can’t be it, I don’t have one…
ANYWAY, whether your thing is undead tank stories or fast running weirdoes fighting men with boomerangs, over in the lands of DC there’s a few book out this week sure to please. Specifically I was referring to Flash #5 which continues the Brightest Light storyline, as well as the relaunch of one of the great old time war comics, G.I. Combat #1. This later now features one of the strangest characters around: the Haunted Tank.
Haunted Tank follows a tank driver haunted by the ghost of his ancestor, a Confederate Civil War Cavalry commander. The ghost of this incorporeal Colonel will posses the tank for difficult maneuvers, or use other ghostly powers to help his team out of scrapes. . The latest ancestor of the plantation owning specter is an African American serving in the latest gulf war…awkward. All this and a Geoff Darrow cover?!
Now that is strange…I’m up to my ankles in water now and I can see a tree floating by my window. The strange part is that tree lives at the TOP of the hill. What’s it doing all the way down here.
I’m sure all will be fine.
MARVEL
Marvel has the latest Avengers #5, as well as Astonishing X-Men Xenogenesis #3, Fantastic Four #583 and the hard cover of Girl Comics, a fun night out with the creative ladies of comics!
Pardon Me, I simply must excuse myself to investigate the situation with the water and the tree outside my cave. The water, might I add, that is now up to my knees and has washed away my hay pile I use as a bed.
BRB.
WELL, It turns out that there’s a flash flood happening AT THIS VERY MOMENT and that I and everything I own are now being washed away, via a tributary, into the might ocean mayhaps to die. I’m glad I sprung for that wifi card now so I can e-mail in my column while there’s still time.
I do hope I don’t get eaten by a leviathan before I run to my local comic shop to buy The Muppet Show #10 and Bart Simpson’s Treehouse of Horror #16, this year featuring Evan “Milk and Cheese” Dorkin and Lemmy of Motorhead.
Oops, I was.
